A MUFFLED VIEWPOINT – an introduction.

A MUFFLED VIEWPOINT – an introduction.

You always wanted to speak out….. and speak out loud !!

But then, you could not…!

Because, you thought it was not the right moment. Or may be, who would listen, or what people would say. You muffled your ideas deep within you, which got buried deep in your psyche. These ideas and thoughts can die of asphyxia if not brought out fast.

Yes. And I am no exception.

As a kid I learned to accept that whatever I said carries no weight with grown-ups. When I tried, people would brush me aside derisively, “Bachha hai…”

As an adolescent I believed, and rightly so, that language is a big hurdle. I un-knowingly fell to some sort of inferiority complex, when I used to see boys and girls from convent schools chit-chatting fluently in English and developed a covert disdain for the language. At that time Hindi was struggling to gain respectability.

Then, like any other young man, I joined the struggle to earn a decent living – a govt. job. This demanded churning books with the singular aim of splashing them on paper in competitive examinations. A providential stroke, and I made it and got a ‘respectable’ job in the state police service, where I was destined to be promoted to coveted Indian Police Service. Finally I retired after spending the best years of my life!

During all those years the State and the society wanted me not to speak out and bound me with an oath to allegiance and secrecy. Though the oath still binds me but only with respect to such information as came to me during my official discharge of duty and may jeopardize the security of state, if disclosed. It leaves me open to speak or write on any other subject under the sun or beyond.

The status quo-ism of state functioning kills your creativity and channelizes your thinking in narrow administrative philosophies, from which it is difficult to come out.

However, few sudden spikes of creativity kept showing intermittently, which kept my hopes alive. Wrote a few Hindi poems, which I find were not bad. I could draw a few paintings as well, in water colour and oil, which drew adequate appreciation.

Now in my retirement, when I have a vast and varied experience behind me and no one out there to pull me back, I feel that I must speak out…. and speak out loud. I must bring out the thoughts muffled with the dust of many years…..

Hence the muffled viewpoint !!!

April 15, 2017